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Well I have now experienced my first Hammer Thanksgiving (my in-laws). We had a great time up at Shaver Lake in a rented cabin (about an hour Northeast of Fresno). All nine of us had a great Thanksgiving dinner and enjoyed our beautiful surroundings amidst the trees ... and football.
We found a sequoia grove about 20 miles from the cabin and got some great photos in the 30-degree weather. We also had lots of down time to relax and do whatever we wished around the cabin. So I was able to work on some art pieces I have been wanting to do. I might get them up on the site soon depending on if I get anymore time this weekend to finish them. Overall it was a nice relaxing weekend, with plenty of time to recharge before the Christmas season.
Here are the rest of the photos from the weekend: http://www.dubland.net/gallery/shaver11-06
Greetings on this weekend before Thanksgiving. With things slowing down a bit Heidi was able to finally put up our pictures from Banff. It was quite a scenic trip, as you'll see. I am hoping to go back and clean up a couple of pictures this coming week for the new site redesign.
I also hope to have a bunch of new photos to play with after Thanksgiving. Heidi and I are going up to Shaver Lake, near Fresno, with her family. Should be a nice relaxing time, with plenty of picture taking time. In the meantime, enjoy the photos from Banff:
http://www.dubland.net/gallery/banff06
This weekend Heidi and I saw The Prestige, which was a great movie. I highly recommend it, a great suspense movie. For those of you not familiar with it, the story revolves around two competing magicians at the turn of the century who become obsessed with being better than their rival.
The director, Christopher Nolan (Memento, Batman Begins) said, in an article from Entertainment Weekly, that this movie would be the closest thing he would do as far making a movie about filmmaking. It definitely resonated with that thought. These two showmen tried to come up with the ultimate trick or illusion that would one-up their rival, as well as make the crowds flock to them. In the midst of their obsession they began to meld their personal life with their professional ambitions and illusions, to the point there was no distinction.
With all that being said, the movie got me thinking again of a question I have been asking myself since college. What are my motives for doing what I do? Am I obsessed with the accolades of my viewing puplic? Am I doing this as a means to express what is truly going on inside of me?
Back in college I had a bit of an existential crisis. I was hyper involved in my class film and art projects, as well as all the other college activities. I kept doing more and more until I hit burn-out. In that burn-out, I started to really look at my motivation for what I did, and found I wasn't happy with what I saw. I found myself receiving my emotional and spiritual sustenance from my work and the attention I got from that work.
At the same time I had an internship at Paramount Studios with grand aspirations of entering the film industry. As I was sifting through this personal crisis I found most of the people there were just like me, or even worse. This made me even more disillusioned. How could I go into an industry that is predominately about living for the attention of others? How could I find anyone here in this work environment that could help me through these big questions I was grappling with, when most of them are clawing their way to the spotlight to fill their own personal hole.
Slowly I began to realize if I truly wanted to deal with this, I am in the wrong place. This was emphasized even more when I read an article on a prominent movie director who was asked about his personal life (I am chosing not name his name because I can't recall the specifics of the article), about dealing with his personal wounds/demons. He more or less said he chose not to deal with those wounds because they were his driving force to create his works. Reading this made me think of all the tragic film, literary and historical characters. I wondered how a storyteller himself couldn't see the folly in his decision. It also made me wonder, "Do I have to be plagued with personal tragedy to make truly great art?" So I chose not to pursue a job in Hollywood.
Now after several years of pondering this question from time to time, I still can't quite fully wrap my head around it. I have learned to find sustenance outside of what I do, that I am more than purely my job title. But I still strive to become a better artist. The romantic part of me wants to believe you can truly excel in your craft without selling your soul. However, I continue to realize that I still need to guard myself from losing prespective of what is truly important.
